2/10/2018 0 Comments Attracting LoveLove comes when we least expect it, when we are not looking for it. Hunting for love never brings the right partner. It only creates longing and unhappiness. Love is never outside ourselves; love is within us.
Don’t insist that love come immediately. Perhaps you are not ready for it, or you are not developed enough to attract the love you want. Don’t settle for anybody just to have someone. Set your standards. What kind of love do you want to attract? List the qualities in yourself, and you will attract a person who has them. You might examine what may be keeping love away. Could it be criticism? Feelings of unworthiness? Unreasonable standards? Movie star images? Fear of intimacy? A belief that you are unlovable? Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love. In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. I live in harmony and balance with everyone I know. Deep at the center of my being, there is an infinite well of love. I now allow this love to flow to the surface. It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied. The more love I use and give, the more I have to give. The supply is endless. The use of love makes me feel good; it is an expression of my inner joy. I love myself; therefore, I take loving care of my body. I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages, I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy. I love myself; therefore, I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in. I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it. Excerpt taken from You Can Heal Your Life
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1. Be kind AND firm at the same time
Children need both kindness AND firmness in order to thrive but many parents struggle to get the balance right. They're either too firm ("I'm the boss and you'll do as I say") or too permissive ("I love you and you can do anything you please"). Some parents vacillate between the two extremes being very inconsistent and confusing the child by swinging from controlling to permissive. A positive discipline parent is neither. They show firmness coupled with kindness. Which of the following best describes you... THE BOSS - You are in charge and your children must obey you simply because you are the parent. THE PLEASER - Your children are the centre of the universe, so they have all the power. THE KIND AND FIRM PARENT- Your child is part of your family and not the centre of the universe. You understand your child's personality and can create boundaries without breaking your child's spirit. Both 'the boss' and 'the pleaser parent' act instead of being proactive. They wait until something happens and then respond in the moment. The 'kind and firm parent' takes a step back, observes and thinks before they act. They work on ways to show their child what to do instead of consistently saying YES or NO! The boss often looks for blame or fault and relies on punishment as the primary discipline tool. Kind and firm parents look for solutions instead of blame ad realise that the person who can and must change first is the parent. I’ve always said, “Life is simple. What we give out, we get back.” We can say out loud or think to ourselves one affirmation all day long, such as All is well, over and over and over. Or we can have a list of 20 affirmations and just say or write one each day. The number of times that we say or write an affirmation is really up to each individual.
When we concentrate on these affirmations and start to change our way of thinking, our inner voice immediately reacts to these new thoughts in one of two ways: with fear or with love. If we sense fear, then we need to say to ourselves, “Thank you for sharing. This is a thought that I’ll be sending you many times, so get used to it!” It’s as if our mind is a filing cabinet and these thoughts are new folders that we’re placing in it. This is the moment when you’re either enjoying or not enjoying your life. What you’re feeling now is creating your tomorrows. Isn’t that a wonderful thing to know? You are in charge of your life! Life brings what you focus on and so many of us are therefore unconsciously creating our lives by focusing on all we don't want or all we fear. Let's reclaim our power by consciously choosing our focus and directing our lives towards all that brings us joy. You don’t have time to waste on negative thinking because it only creates more of what you say you don’t want. If you’re doing positive affirmations and you’re not getting the results you want, then check to see how often during the day you allow yourself to feel bad or upset. These emotions are exactly what’s delaying the manifestation of your affirmations and stopping the flow of your good. We live in an ever-expanding, unlimited Universe. The possibilities available to us are far beyond what our human minds can imagine. The only thing that ever limits us is our thinking. We waste our thoughts thinking of limitations. Our thoughts are so precious. Every thought we think is creating our future. Every thought! Each time we think a thought that makes us feel bad in any way, it’s a wasted thought. Not only have we wasted an opportunity to think a positive thought and create a great life for ourselves, we’ve added to the pile of negative thoughts that bring uncomfortable experiences to us. Each thought is precious. We can learn to think in positive affirmations. Yes, it takes a bit of doing to gain control over our thoughts; however, the rewards are tremendous. The past has no power over us. Even problems have no power over us. Our power lies in the thoughts that we choose to think today. Remember, there are endless opportunities for good before us. We can think happy thoughts. We can think positive thoughts. We can say, “Yes, I can do it!” We can think thoughts that make us feel joyous. We can learn to think only about all the good in the world. We can lift our thoughts up. We can greet the day with a smile. We can let the world know that we’re happy to be alive. We can express gratitude at every turn. We can love our bodies. We can be our best friend. By our actions, we’ll be an example for our children. Just by watching us, they’ll learn how to create a happy and fulfilling life. Our reward is that we get to watch day by day as our lives turn into the most joyous, loving, healthy, prosperous, fabulous experiences. And this will last for all the rest of our days on Earth. So train yourself to think thoughts that make you feel good. That way, you’ll always be creating your life out of joy and in joy. Joy always brings more to be joyous about. Affirm: I am the only thinker in my mind; and I choose to think peaceful, loving, positive thoughts. I love Life and Life loves me. Written by Louise Hay 1/24/2018 0 Comments forgivenessForgiveness of ourselves and of others releases us from the past. The Course in Miracles says over and over that forgiveness is the answer to almost everything. I know that when we are stuck, it usually means there is some more forgiving to be done. When we do not flow freely with life in the present moment, it usually means we are holding on to a past moment. It can be regret, sadness, hurt, fear, or guilt, blame, anger, resentment, and sometimes even the desire for revenge. Each one of these states comes from a space of unforgiveness, a refusal to let go and come into the present moment.
Love is always the answer to healing of any sort. And the pathway to love is forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment. There are several ways in which I approach this. Exercise: Dissolving Resentment There is an old Emmet Fox exercise for dissolving resentment that always works. He recommends that you sit quietly, close your eyes, and allow your mind and body to relax. Then, imagine yourself sitting in a darkened theater, and in front of you is a small stage. On that stage, place the person you resent the most. It could be someone in the past or present, living or dead. When you see this person clearly, visualize good things happening to this person — things that would be meaningful to him. See him smiling and happy. Hold this image for a few minutes, then let it fade away. I like to add another step. As this person leaves the stage, put yourself up there. See good things happening to you. See yourself smiling and happy. Be aware that the abundance of the Universe is available to all of us. The above exercise dissolves the dark clouds of resentment most of us carry. For some, it will be very difficult to do. Each time you do it, you may get a different person. Do it once a day for a month, and notice how much lighter you feel. Exercise: Revenge Those on the spiritual pathway know the importance of forgiveness. For some of us, there is a step that is necessary before we can totally forgive. Sometimes the little kid in us needs to have revenge before it is free to forgive. For that, this exercise is very helpful. Close your eyes, sit quietly and peacefully. Think of the people who are hardest to forgive. What would you really like to do to them? What do they need to do to get your forgiveness? Imagine that happening now. Get into the details. How long do you want them to suffer or do penance? When you feel complete, condense time and let it be over forever. Usually at this point you feel lighter, and it is easier to think about forgiveness. To indulge in this every day would not be good for you. To do it once as a closing exercise can be freeing. Exercise: Forgiveness Now we are ready to forgive. Do this exercise with a partner if you can, or do it out loud if you are alone. Again, sit quietly with your eyes closed and say, “The person I need to forgive is ___________ and I forgive you for ___________.” Do this over and over. You will have many things to forgive some for and only one or two to forgive others for. If you have a partner, let him say to you, “Thank you, I set you free now.” If you do not, then imagine the person you are forgiving saying it to you. Do this for at least five or ten minutes. Search your heart for the injustices you still carry. Then let them go. When you have cleared as much as you can for now, turn your attention to yourself. Say out loud to yourself, “I forgive myself for ___________.” Do this for another five minutes or so. These are powerful exercises and good to do at least once a week to clear out any remaining rubbish. Some experiences are easy to let go and some we have to chip away at, until suddenly one day they let go and dissolve. Many people say they cannot enjoy today because of something that happened in the past. Because they did not do something or do it in a certain way in the past, they cannot live a full life today. Because they no longer have something they had in the past, they cannot enjoy today. Because they were hurt in the past, they will not accept love now. Because something unpleasant happened when they did something once, they are sure it will happen again today. Because they once did something that they are sorry for, they are sure they are bad people forever. Because once someone did something to them, it is now all the other person’s fault that their life is not where they want it to be. Because they became angry over a situation in the past, they will hold on to that self-righteousness. Because of some very old experience where they were treated badly, they will never forgive and forget.
Because I did not get invited to the high school prom, I cannot enjoy life today. Because I did poorly at my first audition, I will be terrified of auditions forever. Because I am no longer married, I cannot live a full life today. Because I was hurt by a remark once, I will never trust anyone again. Because I stole something once, I must punish myself forever. Because I was poor as a child, I will never get anywhere. What we often refuse to realize is that holding on to the past — no matter what it was or how awful it was — is only hurting us. “They” really don’t care. Usually, “they” are not even aware. We are only hurting ourselves by refusing to live in this moment to the fullest. The past is over and done and cannot be changed. This is the only moment we can experience. Even when we lament about the past, we are experiencing our memory of it in this moment, and losing the real experience of this moment in the process. Exercise: Releasing Let us now clean up the past in our minds. Release the emotional attachment to it. Allow the memories to be just memories. If you think back to what you used to wear in the third grade, usually there is no emotional attachment. It’s just a memory. It can be the same for all of the past events in our lives. As we let go, we become free to use all of our mental power to enjoy this moment and to create a great future. List all the things you are willing to let go of. How willing are you to do this? Notice your reactions. What will you have to do to let these things go? How willing are you to do so? What is your resistance level? Excerpt from You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay 1/24/2018 0 Comments New Year's resolutionsThis Year I Do the Mental Work for Change
Many of us start New Year’s resolutions on the first of the year, but because we don’t make internal changes, the resolutions fall away very quickly. Until we make the inner changes and are willing to do some mental work, nothing out there is going to change. The only thing we need to change is a thought—only a thought. Even self-hatred is only hating a thought we have about ourself. What can you do for yourself this year in a positive way? What would you like to do this year that you did not do last year? What would you like to let go of this year that you clung to so tightly last year? What would you like to change in your life? Are you willing to do the work that will bring about those changes? Exerted from Heart Thoughts - Louise Hay Stress is a fear reaction to life and to the constant change that is inevitable. Stress has become a catchword: we use it as an excuse for not taking responsibility for our feelings, above all our fear. But if you can equate stresswith fear—and understand that feeling stressed is really a fearful reaction—you can begin to eliminate the need for stress in your life.
A peaceful, relaxed person is neither frightened nor stressed. So if you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself what you are afraid of. Most people have a long list of worries, with things like work, money, family, and health at the top. Your concern then becomes how to eliminate the fear and move through life feeling safe. You can start by doing your mirror work and practicing positive affirmations. When you do this, you can replace your negative, constricting thoughts with positive thoughts that create peace, joy, harmony, and a stress-free life. There is an expression I like to use a lot: the totality of possibilities. I learned it from one of my early teachers in New York. This expression always gave me a taking-off place for letting my mind go beyond what I thought possible—far beyond the limited beliefs I grew up with. As a child, I did not understand how much of the criticism grown-ups heaped on me was not deserved. It was their reaction to a stressful or disappointing day. But I accepted their criticism as true, and the negative thoughts and beliefs about myself that I internalized were limitations that conditioned my life for many years. I may not have looked awkward or dumb or silly, but I sure felt it. Most of our beliefs about life and about ourselves are formed by the time we are five years old. We may expand on them a little as teenagers and maybe a tiny bit more when we are older, but very little changes overall. If I were to ask you why you hold a certain belief, you would almost certainly trace it back to a decision you made when you were a young child. So we live in the limitations of our five-year-old consciousness. These limitations often stop us from experiencing and expressing the totality of possibilities. We think things like I’m not smart enough. I’m not organized. I have too much on my plate. I don’t have enough time. How many of you are letting limiting beliefs stop you? You have a choice to accept these limitations or to go beyond them. Remember: the limitations you feel are all in your mind and have nothing to do with reality. When you learn to drop your limiting beliefs and allow yourself to move into the totality of possibilities, you will discover that you are good enough. You do have what it takes. You can handle whatever is on your plate. And you have all the time you need. You can see all sorts of possibilities, and you are capable of remarkable things. Let’s affirm: I am confident. I can easily handle everything that comes my way. I trust myself and I trust life. I trust that out of every situation only good will come. I am safe. I can relax and release all worries and fears and tension. All is well. Your Mirror Work Exercise
Excerpt from Mirror Work by Louise Hay |
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